My small coven has run into another of those strange mortal customs. This one consists of sending out vasts amounts of colourful paper, with arcane scribblings upon it and directions to use one of their weird communication devices. I availed myself of this device and learned that the little paper my coven received is a summoning for an annual ritual, directed at my oldest minion. Mortals call this a "Birthing Day".

My minion is to bring an offering of some significance, or else she shall be sacrificed to heathen gods called "Popularity". How very strange these mortals are. Do they not know that their gods are false? In my millions of years of living never once have I encountered "Popularity", yet mortals sing his praises at every turn. Silly mortals. I'll bet my next sacrificial fish that "Popularity" is merely Loki playing with a pseudonym. He always did like to tease the mortals. You'd think he'd have grown up in the last three thousand years.